She Knows All Too Well

She knows all too well.
Too well for her own good at least.

The pain that is inflected by foolish’games.

Playing with emotions.

Heartlessness that has no end.

She almost died in it.

The hell of constant bullying.

The hell of never being any good.

Not being any good was one of many lies that she was told several times a day.

Which eventually turns into every second in her mind.

The words and voices wont leave her head.

It takes about two years of intense mindfullness and work for her to fix these constant negative thoughts.

These thoughts that she once felt she had no control over.

She simply didnt know any better.

One time she even became an bully and an abuser. 

She did this to relieve herself of the bullying and abuse that was directed toward her.

It did not work.

She felt too guity and stopped within a few minutes.

As a result, she again became the target.

Someone told her that she, “had a way out! You should have took it!”

She knew she could not.

She knows the pain all too well.

This is the price of kindness in this world.

At least that is what she thought before she learned better.

This is something most people will never understand.

She knows people who have killed themselves over such things.

She knows some people will do it today.

She understands them though.

She knows all too well what they are going though.

She almost took that route.

She attempted to take that road twice before.

She knows what it is like to feel like there is no way out of the everlasting pain.

She ultimately choose to survive.

The pain gets better.

However, the effects of it all will be life-long and forever impact her existence. 

She chooses to fight against bullying.


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